A tip specifically for those of you who feel like you fall into the default parent all of the time and so a holiday gathering, even with family or friends you haven't seen in awhile, isn't quite as exciting because even though your partner might be refreshed by some grown up conversation, you never really let your guard down because you're on constant baby/little kid watch so your nervous system doesn't calm enough for you to realllly relax into the time with people you love.
​
Anyways if that's you (I know, super specific and maybe 90% of you won't get anything from this), but if that's you I want you to have this conversation with your partner before you go anywhere (or open your doors to anyone.)
​
Estimate the time you'll be with people. For this, let's say 3 hours.
Split that time in half.
You each get a "chunk" where you don't have to respond to baby, diapers, feedings, etc. This doesn't mean you dont engage your baby, but you get to CHOOSE because you're not "on duty."
You also each get a "chunk" where you get to hang out and be around, but if something comes up, you're on it, no questions asked, your partner gets to keep the conversation going and enjoy talking to adults for a bit.
​
I hope you have times with family and friends this holiday weekend that are refreshing. The kind that remind you of who you are and all of the life and passion inside of you. The kind that makes you feel held by community whether that is the ones you were born into or the ones you've chosen along the way.
​
LMK if this is a tip you needed.
​
Rooting for you,

Chels.
​
PS: If you're feeling the mental load creep in (or come on strong) use this Mental Load Breakthrough to make a plan to be a team through December.

​HOLIDAY Mental Load Template.pdf​

​

​