Reader-

Let me tell you about a real Tuesday morning meltdown.

Mike was quiet. Grumpy. A little “off.” Nothing new. But for whatever reason, this time it hit me like a brick. I had just come off a personal win, I was proud of something I’d created, something that felt really good, and suddenly, one weird tone shift from him and I was spiraling:

“Is he mad at me?”
“Did I do something wrong?”
“Maybe I shouldn’t have been so excited…”
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And just like that, my confidence was gone.

Have you been there? That moment where your mood, your momentum, your sense of self gets hijacked and you’re not even sure how it happened?

That’s self-sabotage. And it’s way more common than you think.

This week on the podcast, I’m breaking down 3 sneaky ways I see women self-sabotage in relationships, in motherhood, and in how we show up for ourselves.

Here’s what we’re talking about:

1. You assume the good can’t last. You finally have a great day with your partner… and then wake up feeling blah. You make progress at work… and suddenly feel like a fraud. You find joy… and then brace for it to disappear. This is what we call the upper limit problem and it’s keeping you stuck.
2. You give your partner more emotional control than you admit. Your mood depends on how he shows up. You question your worth if he’s quiet or distracted. You shrink yourself to keep the peace. It’s not love—it’s emotional outsourcing, and it’s draining your confidence.
3. You hide insecurity behind busyness. You say you “don’t have time” for yourself… but it’s actually fear. Fear of failing. Fear of not feeling good in your body. Fear of doing something new. So instead, you overbook the calendar and call it responsible. But deep down, you’re craving space for YOU.

If you see yourself in any of those, you’re not alone. You’re also not broken. But these patterns won’t fix themselves, and you deserve more than just surviving your day.
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Stop Self-Sabotaging: The 3... Jun 11 · Better Relationships Aft... 13:43   ​

I recorded this one with equal parts tough love and tenderness.
Because I’ve been there.
And because I want more for you.

You’re allowed to feel steady.
You’re allowed to take up space.
You’re allowed to experience joy without waiting for the fall.

Let’s rewrite the story.

P.S. I’ve got space for just 2 more 1-on-1 clients right now—moms only. I’m helping women who are stuck in self-sabotage cycles—like waiting for the other shoe to drop, relying on their partner’s reaction for their self-worth, or hiding insecurity behind never-ending busyness. If you’ve lost your personal spark and want to feel confident, grounded, and back in control of your own life again, this is your invitation. Message me now and let’s talk about what that shift could look like for you.​

Fun Fact:​
Your brain reacts to positive change the same way it reacts to danger. Even something good—like connection or success—can trigger stress if it feels unfamiliar. That "off" feeling after a great day? Totally normal. Your body’s just catching up.

Rooting for youuuuuu!

PSS: Mike and I had so much fun this weekend at the Babies and Bumps event! We led a workshop titled "Thriving Together After Baby" and met a ton of incredible couples! Presenting with him (and not solo) for the first time was truly *Chefs kiss* and where we're meant to be! Going all in on this business has really pushed me in the past few months and it has been equally parts scary AF and exciting AF. Thanks to everyone who has helped us grow to this point by telling a friend, sharing in a group, or working with us!

Chelsea Skaggs Founder, Postpartum Together

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