This morning, my husband and I stood in our home office practicing a talk about things like the mental load, sex after baby, and communication breakdowns. I heard him say, "I wanted to show up as a good dad and partner, but I really didn't know how to sometimes. I had no idea the mental load Chelsea was carrying until she kind of, well, blew up one day and rattled it all off." ​
​
Yes, I remember that moment.
Yes, I probably could have told him in a *kinder* way.
And yes, I think couples can avoid that pitfall we went into. ​
​
I felt like he would never understand how much my life was rocked and jolted.
He felt like I would never understand how he sometimes felt like the "extra" in the house because the baby needed me for so many things.
​
I would wait for the minute he got home to spew off the list of how hard my day was.
He would hold things in as long as he could.
​
I was looking for emotional openness to feel good about sex and intimacy again.
He was missing sex and intimacy as a form of openness that allowed us to open up emotionally to one another.
​
It's not that you can have EVERY discussion and plan for EVERY need that might come up with a baby, but you can build in the most important tools and conversations that help you stay on the same team and communicate and connect well. And even if the baby is already here (or the baby is in kindergarten and you're finally getting more breathing room), before baby was the best time to do this work but the second best time is right now. ​
​
We learned a lot of things the hard way, and I really don't want that for you if you can set yourself up to have more of those moments that make you think, "this, this is what it's all about." More of those.
​
​If you want that, we can help and are here just for that.

​

-Chels + Mike | Postpartum Together
​
​