Iām going to say something that I wish someone had told me when my kids were little, Reader: The holidays can bring out the best of you twoā¦ and the absolute worst.Not because your relationship is broken, but because youāre tired, overwhelmed, and carrying more than any two people should be carrying at once. Little cracks feel bigger this time of year. Expectations are higher. Old patterns resurface. And the stress leaks into the small spaces of your home. And honestly?Thereās a reason...
8 days agoĀ ā¢Ā 1 min read
A tip specifically for those of you who feel like you fall into the default parent all of the time and so a holiday gathering, even with family or friends you haven't seen in awhile, isn't quite as exciting because even though your partner might be refreshed by some grown up conversation, you never really let your guard down because you're on constant baby/little kid watch so your nervous system doesn't calm enough for you to realllly relax into the time with people you love. Anyways if...
9 days agoĀ ā¢Ā 1 min read
Some of you coast through the holidays with laughter and lots of hell yeahs. Some of you come up against the frustration of gender norms, upbringings, and the extra tension of the holiday time and expectations. Most of you are probably somewhere in the middle. I was happy to see a ton of you grabbed the free Holiday Mental Load Breakthrough so that you could get all of the things out of your head and into a space where you and your partner can actually work with it instead of you "just doing...
12 days agoĀ ā¢Ā 1 min read
Thereās a moment almost every mom has sometime between mid-November and mid-Decemberā¦ Youāre standing in the kitchen, half-wrapping a gift, half-answering a text from your mom about Christmas Eve, half-listening to the baby fuss in the monitor and your partner walks in and says: āJust tell me what you need me to do.ā And you freeze. Because if you could tell them, you wouldāve. But all the mental loadāthe gifts, the schedules, the nap windows, the family expectations, the travel logistics,...
17 days agoĀ ā¢Ā 2 min read
If yesterdayās email stirred something in you -- That little exhale, that lump in your throat, that sense of finally someone put words to it-- I want to talk directly to that part of you. Because the women who wrote back last night said things like: āI didnāt realize how much of myself Iāve lost until I read this.ā āI want to feel like me again ā not just function.ā āI know this would helpā¦ Iām just scared to commit.ā āI donāt even know what Iād do with free time anymore.ā If thatās you, I...
20 days agoĀ ā¢Ā 1 min read
Thereās something almost every mom says to me at some point quietly, like itās a confession: āI donāt really know who I am anymore.ā Not in a dramatic, crisis-level way.More like a slow fade.A dimming.A quiet losing track of the things that once made you feel grounded and confident andā¦ like yourself. Motherhood shifts your identity in ways you canāt fully prepare for.Research has shown this over and over (Nelson et al., 2014): becoming āMomā doesnāt just add a role. It reshapes how the world...
21 days agoĀ ā¢Ā 2 min read
Do you have a hard time prioritizing the 1000 things in your head? Do you and your partner disagree sometimes around what the priorities are? Earlier this year, Mike and I started using what's called the Eisenhower Matrix. It's simple, but it really helps us put everything into perspective and prioritize pretty quickly. The gist is that you have limited time and energy and aren't going to do all the things all the time to the extent that we want to. However, if you know what values matters...
22 days agoĀ ā¢Ā 1 min read
It's 5:30pm and you scheduled a yoga class at 6... but can you really get out and go? Is it really worth it? First of all, it's getting dark. And, it has been difficult for you to get out and take up space to feel like yourself...so you hit the group text and they tell you what you needed someone else to say, what you needed accountability for: YOU DESERVE THIS TIME AND SPACE AND HONORING YOURSELF BRINGS VALUE TO YOUR WHOLE FAMILY. It's one of those days that you just feel like everytime you...
about 1 month agoĀ ā¢Ā 1 min read
Small groups can be such magical places. Maybe youāve had that before and you miss it. Or maybe youāve seen the screenshots and the inside jokes and thought, I want that ā I just havenāt found my people yet. Small groups let you build enough trust to say the real things ā the things you wouldn't in a big group ā but also give you space to show up however you are that day. Youāre not expected to perform or be āon.ā Just come as you are. After running small groups for 5 years, hereās what I see...
about 1 month agoĀ ā¢Ā 1 min read
