I keep thinking about how unnatural modern motherhood can feel.

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Not because mothers today are doing it wrong.

But because so many moms are doing something deeply communal inside lives that are set up for isolation.

For most of human history, motherhood happened with people nearby.

A baby was passed from arm to arm. A toddler was corrected by someone who wasn’t already touched out. A meal showed up without a full explanation of why you needed it. A mom could say, “I don’t know who I am right now,” and someone older, wiser, or simply a few steps ahead could nod and say, “Yes. That part is real.”

And now?

So many moms are trying to build an entire life, raise emotionally healthy children, keep a home functioning, nurture a relationship, make decisions, regulate everyone’s feelings, and somehow “enjoy every minute” without enough actual support around them.

We call it independence.

But sometimes it’s just loneliness with better branding.

And I don’t think the answer is pretending we can fully recreate an old-school village overnight.

Most of us don’t have aunties next door, neighbors walking in with soup, or a circle of women automatically woven into our daily lives.

But we can start rebuilding connection on purpose.

So here’s something helpful to try this week:

Do a 10-minute village audit.

Take out a piece of paper or open your notes app and write down three columns:

1. Who helps me feel like myself? These are the people you can be honest with. The ones who don’t need you to perform or polish every answer.
2. Who helps with the practical stuff? This could be childcare, meals, errands, school pickup, sharing resources, or simply being someone who says, “I can take that off your plate.”
3. Who helps me remember I’m not the only one? These are the people who normalize the hard parts without turning motherhood into a complaint fest. They remind you that your experience makes sense.

Now look at the list.

Where is it full? Where is it thin? Where are you expecting one person, often your partner or one best friend, to be the whole village?

That’s usually where the pressure starts to build.

Because one person was never meant to be your entire emotional ecosystem.

Your partner matters. Your closest friends matter. Your family may matter.

But moms also need spaces where they can be around other moms in the becoming.

Not just to swap tips.

To be witnessed.

To hear, “Me too.” To say the real thing. To remember they have a voice. To be reminded that they are still a whole person, not just the keeper of everyone else’s needs.

That’s the heart behind something new I’m opening soon.

Mom Circles are coming.

Small, facilitated groups for moms across different stages of early motherhood, centered on pregnancy through age five.

Some will be local. Some will be virtual. All will be designed as a place to gather, talk honestly, rebuild connection, and feel a little more rooted in a season that can feel way too isolating.

More details are coming soon, but for now, start with the village audit.

Not to shame yourself for what you don’t have.

To notice what you need.

That noticing matters.

And it might be the first step toward building something different.
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