There’s a moment almost every mom has sometime between mid-November and mid-December… You’re standing in the kitchen, half-wrapping a gift, half-answering a text from your mom about Christmas Eve, half-listening to the baby fuss in the monitor and your partner walks in and says:

“Just tell me what you need me to do.”

And you freeze.

Because if you could tell them, you would’ve. But all the mental load—the gifts, the schedules, the nap windows, the family expectations, the travel logistics, the emotional tone of the day—is a knot so tangled that the thought of explaining it feels harder than just doing it yourself.

That’s the moment the resentment creeps in.

And that’s the moment that inspired this week’s podcast episode.

The Mental Load of the Holidays isn’t normal overwhelm. It’s a different beast.

Especially for postpartum parents or anyone with a baby under two.

In this week's episode of Better Relationships After Baby, we break down:

-the invisible tasks that pile up this time of year

-why partners often want to help but don’t know how

-and the simple shifts that turn “I’m doing everything” into “we’ve got this”

We also share an actual tool we use with couples right now:
​The Holiday Huddle — a 10–15 minute weekly check-in that gets all the chaos out of your brain and onto the table so you’re not carrying it alone.

You can listen here:

👉 Podcast Episode: The Mental Load of the Holidays ​

The Mental Load of the Holid... Nov 18 · Better Relationships Aft... 36:47   ​

Or if you prefer to read (or skim during contact naps):
​👉 Blog: How New Parents Can Share the Holiday Mental Load ​

Here are a few quick, practical tips you can use TODAY:

1. Pick your “one thing that matters most.” Every member of your family picks one holiday thing they care about. Everything else becomes flexible. This alone prevents so many meltdowns—kid and adult.
2. Divide by category, not task. Instead of: “Can you pick up the ham?” Try: “You take full ownership of holiday meals this year—planning, shopping, timing, cleanup.”
3. Take shifts at gatherings One partner is “on” with kids for 45–60 minutes while the other actually gets to talk to adults. Then switch. This keeps resentment shockingly low.
4. Do a Holiday Huddle before the week starts
   Ask each other:
   What’s coming up this week?
   What’s stressing you?
   What needs to come off your plate?

It’s simple, but it changes everything.

And because I don’t want you to hold all of this in your head…

Grab the Holiday Mental Load Template I made for you. It’s free, it’s simple, and it’s the fastest way to make the invisible work visible so your partner can actually help.

👉HOLIDAY Mental Load Template.pdf​

Start here. It’ll make the podcast hit deeper, and it’ll make the blog more actionable.

And honestly, it might be the thing that finally gets you two on the same team this holiday season.

You deserve that.

​

Chels + Mike