If you’ve already had a baby, you probably know how easy it is to look “fine” while absolutely not feeling fine.

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You can feed the baby.
Answer texts.
Show up to appointments.
Keep the laundry moving.
Smile when someone asks how you’re doing.

And still be falling apart internally.

This week’s podcast episode is about postpartum mental health, protective factors, and the ways families can build more support around new moms before things reach a crisis point.

And for those of you who are past the newborn stage, I want to give you a different challenge:

Be the person who asks the harder question.

Not just:

“How are you?”

Try:

“Do you feel like yourself today?”

“What feels heavier than it did last week?”

“Are you getting any moments where you actually feel okay?”

“Do you feel safe being alone right now?”

“Do you need me to listen, solve something, or help you get someone else involved?”

Because “How are you?” is incredibly easy to answer with “fine.”

Especially for the woman who is used to holding everything together.

One of the things I talk about in this episode is that we should never confuse functioning with being well.

A new mom may look capable while she is deeply struggling.

And none of us need to become someone else’s clinician, diagnose them, or take responsibility for their mental health.

But we can notice.

We can ask.

We can bring food instead of saying, “Let me know if you need anything.”

We can offer to take the baby so she can sleep.

We can remember that the mother is still a whole human being—not simply the person responsible for feeding and caring for the baby.

And when something feels off, we can take it seriously.

LISTEN IN:
​Can You Prevent Postpartum Dep… - Better Relationships After Baby - Apple Podcasts​

If you have a pregnant or newly postpartum person in your life, send this episode to their partner too.

Sometimes the most loving thing we can do is make it easier for someone to say, “Actually, I’m not okay.”

Chelsea
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