If you’re expecting, this is one of those conversations I want you to have before the baby arrives.

If you’re already in the newborn season, this might help you fix a system that is quietly making both of you miserable.

Most couples I work with say some version of:

“We’ll share the nights.”

Which sounds great.

Until you realize that “sharing the nights” can mean wildly different things to two different people.

One person might mean:
“We’ll alternate every wake-up.”

The other might mean:
“You’ll handle most of the night because you’re breastfeeding, and I’ll help more during the day.”

Neither person necessarily thinks they’re being unfair.

They just never realized they were working from two completely different assumptions.

And that is where resentment loves to grow.

I just released a new episode all about newborn night shifts: how couples can split overnight care, what breastfeeding changes, how work schedules factor in, and how to know when the plan you created is no longer working.

One of the biggest things I want couples to understand is this:

Teamwork does not always mean doing the same task at the same moment.

Sometimes teamwork looks like one person feeding while the other handles diapers, burping, pump parts, water, snacks, or settling.

Sometimes it looks like protected sleep shifts.

Sometimes it looks like saying, “This system worked three days ago. It does not work anymore.”

And sometimes it means being able to say:

“I am not functioning well right now. We need to change something.”

...and knowing your partner will hear that as information, not criticism.

You can read the full breakdown here:

​http://www.postpartumtogether.com/blog/newborn-night-shifts​

Or listen to the podcast episode here:

​https://open.spotify.com/episode/0n6PYeBOhkcvicIaRLeiiU?si=t2OxafsjTyCDBEud0b-DFw​

If your kids are older, I’d actually love for you to listen through the lens of hindsight.

What did nights look like in your house?

What worked?

What created resentment?

What would you tell your pre-baby selves to talk about before that first exhausted 3 a.m. disagreement?

Because this is bigger than newborn sleep.

It’s learning how to make a plan together, notice when it stops serving your family, and change it without treating either person’s needs like an inconvenience.

That is the kind of teamwork I want couples practicing before the baby arrives—and it’s exactly the kind of work we do inside Prep for Us.​

Rooting for you,
Chelsea