Postpartum Together

Chelsea Skaggs

There's a pattern I see in almost everyone I work with

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I know you feel it too. We're getting older just like our parents did.

And sometimes, whether we like to admit it or not, we get stuck in our ways.

More specifically, we get stuck in our own stories.

The reason why your husband responded like that.

The response she'll have when you ask her to help with something.

The way he'll mess up a task if you give it to him.

What she is looking for to feel connected to you.

And yet, most of us are updating our stories less frequently than our iOS system on our phones.

Some of us are flushing out the oil in your minivan more often than you're flushing out old stories and patterns in your relationship.

Parenthood is one of (if not THE) most transformational times of our lives.

So many things shift and change.

I see this in couples every single day as they try to convey the disconnect between who they were and how they once felt and thoughts, and what parenthood has brought out in them that they aren't quite sure how to articulate yet. And the gap is usually where some of the most hurtful arguments and fear-based reactions come in.

When old stories respond to new pieces.
When someone feels stuck in how they are perceived.
When it's not really safe to be wobbly and messy as you change and upgrade because your partner isn't making space for it.

Here's exactly how I help clients update their stories.

1. We figure out where unhealthy patterns are happening and what old stories are tied to them.

2. We figure out what changes (or intentions) have happened through parenthood that need help coming out in conversation.

3. We address roadblocks to integrating and living by the updated information

4. We integrate and practice (with dedicated space for that)

Relationships can get lazy. They can get stuck in autopilot. And for a lot of couples, it feels stale and disconnected. For others, it's just not as expansive and exciting as they'd like their relationship to be.